BARRINGTON, R.I. (WPRI) — The sudden loss of his twin sister left Barrington’s Sean Sbardella shocked and speechless but he found a way to release his pain and let the world know about Lindsay and his loss.
“She was my best friend,” Sbardella says.
They were born a minute apart about 28 years ago but Lindsay definitely played the role of ‘big sister’ even if she was only 60 seconds older.
“She was like that girl, the pretty girl who everyone likes who doesn’t know she’s pretty,” Sbardella says, thinking back to when they were in high school. “I was popular in my own circle of friends but she was the one.”
While she was ‘the one’, Sean hung out with kids on skate boards and worked on his talent as a rapper. He occasionally was the ‘little brother’ who needed a nudge.
“She was the girl who woke me up every morning, made sure I went to school every morning,” Sean says.
Lindsay was active and athletic but out of nowhere, she went into an 11 hour coma when she was at a wedding with Sean about 6 years ago. She was diagnosed with Addison’s disease, a rare disorder that occurs when adrenal glands do not produce enough hormones.
“We were told it was controllable with medicine and it was for the most part.”
Sean was returning home from a business trip. His 28 year old sister called him, asking for a ride to work. He picked her up and dropped her off, not realizing he’d never see her alive again.
“She died in her sleep,” he says. “There’s not a more defining moment in your life than losing someone you’re that close to.”
He took the horrible moment and turned to his craft, putting his anguish into words through the poetry of his rap song, Dragonfly, My Other Heart Beat.
“I can see you in the stars. I can see you in my mom. I can see you in my smile,” Sbardella says, rapping us through the piece. “I don’t have to be afraid. I’m going to be here for a while.”
Sbardella, who performs in clubs throughout the area as Meta P (Metaphysical), put his poetry to a beat and performed it for a music video. The scenes include Barrington town beach and a familiar front porch.
“I don’t think there’s a good way to lose someone you love. Whether it’s a prolonged illness, an accident or something as sudden as them passing in their sleep,” he says, telling us he thinks about Lindsay as much now as when she was alive.
For him, there is no cliche that some call closure.
”It feels like there’s a hole in your heart but it’s a space they earned. And now there’s nothing there. There’s not a second or a breath when you don’t realize what’s going on.”
He knows she’s gone forever but he also says she is still with him, in the eyes of his mother, in the hole in his heart and now in his song, Dragonfly.